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ORLANDO, FL, Feb. 7
/MidnightOutpost.com/ – Original Objective. When I registered
the domain name “midnightoutpost.com”, I had in mind to
use it to make enough money to support me, save the money and buy
stocks again while now I earn my way with this portfolio management
again, and then to become an answer to this question: Where can I go? “This is a place to go when 'you' have no
other place to go at midnight.” It was to have a real
property that provided a place to stay when people had no other place
to go to at midnight (I don't have this now). I had a place like
this before the local legal system in southeast Alabama persisted
until my funds were exhausted and it coincidentally relieved me of the
rest of my funds as well. It was used mostly by young women 19 to 25
years old, saying that they wanted to earn their independence,
however some young men of the same age group stating the same
purpose, used it as well. Most of these people came from an abusive,
coercive environment (frequently from the local “batter women”
federally supported facility, “The House of Ruth”), often
from their “family” by birth, foster or adoption, home.
Each attempt at
MidnightOutpost.com (since I registered it) to earn has been thwarted
by an entity or force that is bigger than me and I don't believe in
“fighting the universe”. I do however, believe that
“there is that force in the universe, that can appear negative
at times but is really there to help you [achieve your dreams]”
– The Alchemist
by Paulo Coelho.
So, with no funds aside from
my near minimum wage job at Universal Orlando, barely making enough
to have an extra $5.00 a week to save, I decide that now I must,
since my attempts to earn have been halted, redirect
MidnightOutpost.com to its original objective of being a place to go
where people have no other place to go at midnight. Let's see if
that is what Universe is telling me. hm... May have to go there
myself. My daughter may have to go there (maybe not, she is with her
“in love with” person).
Where I disagree with “The
Alchemist” is, in the book, he sets out to make a fortune then
goes to his “in love with” person. This is what the
alchemist wants first, money. I believe go to my “in love
with” person first then us set out to make our fortune. Well,
my “in love with” person - I now have to move away from
you for my actions to show my character, beliefs, intentions and caring for you and also you are pushing me away.
Although I'm easy to push away,(remember, if you ever need me, want me, need me to be there for you, then I'll be here) this is not what happened when I moved to
Atlanta (universe did it then). Since my “in love with”
person pushed me away this time, She should now contact me first. She
had attracted me (we knew each other over 2 years and I went back to
her when I moved back from Atlanta to Orlando) and then she used
that attraction to push me away this time. She should now contact me first.
I already know that she is
not a gold digger. She knows what I am capable of earning in a just
society. She has seen the IRS documents. So, if I earn large amounts
of money now and she then contacts me, then she must have changed
since pushing me away, to become a now gold digger. I don't believe
that she will become a gold digger.
I believe that I see why my
“in love with” person is pushing me away. Which mean
that she does not. People run from love all the time. It scared me when I first saw it. To avoid love, I ran back to abuse then too. I was from an abusive childhood too. Recognizing that, now I go toward love. When my “in love with” person sees the truth that I see, I believe love will
remain with those that have ever loved (love does not die, and it spans lifetimes), and she'll at least decide the truth about me and maybe she
will contact me, in this lifetime. She said, “who knows when that will be?”
(LOVE can remain repressed this entire lifetime. Yes, I saw The Color Purple, so I know what that photo meant when you put it there and what you are trying to avoid when you removed it - I believe that you should stop acting - I have.) My answer to who knows when
that will be, God knows. Notice that she didn't say “if”
that will be. So, I believe that now we will at least be soul mates and we MAY meet in some future lifetime. If that is all we ever get, then maybe that will be the “right” lifetime for us. However, I want us in this lifetime.
If our only purpose in this
lifetime is to make friends, couples, find loves, in which a next
lifetime these people are soul mates that we MAY meet -then we have
spent this lifetime well. I don't remember previous lifetimes,
although I know people that have told me that they do. I do believe
in soul mates, (so there must have been previous lifetimes) I've been fortunate enough to have met three soul mates in this lifetime.
And I continue to love them all. (My ex wife [although, I continue to love the person that I met] was not a soul mate in
this life time and with her now character [I don't love that], if it continues to the
next lifetime, I don't want her to be a soul mate then.)
From the events of this lifetime, two of the soul mates that I've met must
contact me and one I must contact and so far I have not made a real
attempt. I want my now “in love with” person. If you
have ever met a soul mate then you know that you recognize a “soul
mate” almost immediately. It is similar to what people confuse
as love at first sight, I believe, with the addition of already knowing stuff about each other. Even a first impression of a soul
mate meeting is not enough for me to decide to move away [emotionally] from my “in love with” person now, even with
her pushing (right now). How do I know? I had a first impression at work
that is almost a perfect first impression and that was stronger than the soul mate
meeting although she was not a soul mate. (I see thousands of women
each day at work and have lots of first impressions.) And this almost
perfect first impresion started to come to me, until another woman
near me that I know “scared” her away. A soul mate would
not have left. I didn't get that soul mate meeting impression either. Just
almost perfect first impression. I didn't go toward her and I have no
plans to do that.
So, I believe that now is
the time to make MidnightOutpost.com a place to go when “you”
have no other place to go at midnight. I may have no other place to
go. My daughter may have no other place to go. My “in love
with” person may have no other place to go. Even if she does have another place to go, I
want her to come here and to me. God, love, my “in love with”
person and time will tell. I did all that I could to put it there. If
I didn't put it there then I didn't have what it takes to do that, I
could have done more only for my daughter (only my daughter is more
important to me). Since I can't decide it then, if the decision is with God, love, my “in
love with” person and time, then can it be in better hands?
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